


Inside the Silences

by roguefaerie



Series: Queer, Trans and Disability-Themed Faerie Tales and Other Writings: Expressions [9]
Category: Den lille Havfrue | The Little Mermaid - Hans Christian Andersen, Fairy Tales & Related Fandoms
Genre: Access Intimacy, Chronic Pain, F/F, Fairy Tale Retellings, Family Feels, Happy Ending, Mild Blood, Muteness, Once Upon a Fic Exchange 2020, Retelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:27:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23122477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roguefaerie/pseuds/roguefaerie
Summary: The princess finds her and brings her back to the castle. That is how it begins.
Relationships: Den lille Havfrue | The Little Mermaid/Prinsesse | Princess
Series: Queer, Trans and Disability-Themed Faerie Tales and Other Writings: Expressions [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1447561
Comments: 10
Kudos: 12
Collections: Once Upon a Fic 2020





	Inside the Silences

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Marenke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marenke/gifts).



The very first time that Adirana saw the woman above the waves, there was a party on board the ship they were all on and she could see her there, standing awkwardly against the rail but in a billowing skirt that seemed to be held together in places to give it a particularly bulbous look. There was no way to see under the strange fashion item, but Adirana knew that like the men, this fair creature would have legs, and she suddenly was struck with wanting, wanting to see them, and wondering if her imaginings of them were accurate by any means.

She told herself she would somehow find out about the legs the humans had. If there was something she would have to do, it would be simple for her when any of the rest of her sisters would deem it complicated or dangerous. Adirana had always wanted to know the ways of humans. It was, she thought, one of her key passions in life, and for a woman like the face she had just seen, Adirana was willing to take any risk.

She would find a way, would Adirana, no matter what the price.

The sea did whisper to her of life above and below. For she was often alone, and it suited her to be thus. Others did not yearn for the surface as much as she did, and when she tried her voice, a true, dark, siren’s voice, she did not feel it fit her, to lure humans. She would sooner be rid of it. 

And so the sea told her of the way to let it go like just the tiniest splash of sea foam.

There was nothing she couldn’t learn from the sea, as it had held her and buoyed her all these years and she knew that her every secret was held in these depths. But it was time to give her attention now to the land and to learn it as well. She would have it no other way, for she was young and seldom luring in the men in boats; it was not yet her time, though she was not as young as the children. She could cast away her voice before it had fully matured to call sailors from all around the land, and that was as she preferred it.

She would rather be silent than cause the humans any length of pain.

On the day she was to reach the surface she found a knife under her pillow and as she took it in her hand she heard the sea whisper to her that should anyone try to put themselves between herself and her love (oh her love her love the one she sought) the sea would ask for his blood.

She barely knew what the sea was speaking of and yet the knife felt cool and right in her hand, as if made for her.

She let the sea carry her to the surface and there upon the land she felt the pain of her legs growing against the sand and she realized--a place of pain, this is where she had willed herself.

There was one tiny slip of leather with her and she sheathed the knife against her otherwise naked body. The sea had given her many gifts, such as the knowledge of where she went at any time and what the land above her even was. The sea had shown her her life’s passion, and so it was only fitting that the waves could conjure the knife as well.

On painful feet, the mermaid who now had legs made her way from the very edge of the beach a little bit further inland. That was how she met them, standing, sheathed dagger and all, with the sand in her hair and the tiniest hint that her feet were actually bleeding. But to the humans this could easily have come from all the walking outdoors she had done while exposed to the elements. 

There she was, the princess, in riding gear now, bright and clean and reserved for only occasions such as this and when their eyes met for the first time it was as if sound did not even matter anymore. 

Adirana wanted to explain everything--that she was a princess too, and about the sea, oh the sea, and the gifts it had given to her. But of course one thing it had done was take away her siren’s call.

She would have to find a way to explain. Her mind raced even as she knew that there was no other pair of eyes she wanted to stare into more than these, that were multifaceted and sparkling like the sea, her home, that she had left. 

There was something, she was sure, that passed between her and the princess--the woman--in her riding brights.

 _You are still of the sea_ , she heard a familiar whisper, and she smiled, because she realized what it meant.

The princess would be drawn into her eyes just as so many others were. Still, it made her look away, just slightly, to break any kind of sea spell. She knew that she would not wish to win the princess by any means other than honesty, and she would do it.

“You poor thing,” said the princess. “Did someone hurt you? Leave you for dead? You’re covered in blood.”

The mermaid was still becoming used to her physical body, though she was already learning to block out the pain in her feet out of necessity. After all, she had to use them.

She might not be able to make the sound of a siren, but she did not want that type of sound now. Instead she mouthed the words she would have spoken below the waves. I have only just arrived.

And despite herself she met the eyes of the princess once more and was taken in, thinking she never wanted to be away from anyone so beautiful ever again.

“My fiance will have to give me my bidding,” said the princess, “I will be living with him soon as his queen and I--” Everything was going wonderfully and terribly at once. “You must come with us,” the princess continued.

From then on what had brought them together kept them together as two who would not be parted. Many times the mermaid saw the princess all but roll her eyes at the trivialities of court goings on. They would walk together, with the pinpricks of blood now hidden in the mermaid’s proper shoes, though they made her feet hurt even more and she had to learn a new way to block the pain.

The dagger, with all the power of the sea, was still among her things in the room she had been given. The abominable prince had asked his fiancee if they could have her sleep on the other side of the door or at the foot of the bed and the princess, who was from another land, told him he was a boor and that the quiet girl would be given her own room in his extremely large castle to have her own place for her things. Then slowly garments and little presents from the princess had filled Adirana’s room until it seemed as full as any she would have below the sea.

The princess and the mermaid, herself a princess, had an instant common language. Perhaps the prince was too stuck in his own world to see this, but it was never lost on Adirana’s love what she might need, or even just the small things that she would enjoy. Some things they communicated when the crowned princess read Adirana’s lips, yet other things seemed conveyed by body language, facial expression, and a time or two the tiniest hint of magic that came with love. They did not have to speak out loud to know what was needed moment to moment. .

When a storm cloud passed over the face of Adirana’s princess whenever anyone made mention of the prince, she could see it happen and she knew what it meant.

There was then, always looming, the question of the knife. 

She knew its purpose in her leather sheef and she knew who it was meant for if she were to take definitive action.

She had been asked by the sea to bring to blood anyone who stood between herself and love, and she wanted forever to stay here with _this_ beautiful princess, a princess indeed, who saw her as the full being she was. Who always saw her as an equal. 

Neither of them, she knew, would have much use for the prince, at least when it came to love. And there was so little left unsaid, even if she was silent but for puffs of air here and there.

One day Princess Maia sent her a bound book, and she became excited to write in it, but before she could she saw that several of the pages were already full. There, the Princess had written in no uncertain terms that her feelings were clear to her.

Adirana’s heart swelled, and she considered the knife once more. Yet something stopped her from taking it from its encasement. 

Princess Maia had seen the knife and looked it over now and again. Sometimes it was hidden, and sometimes the leather was visible depending on Adirana’s garments.

She read through the words on the page, and she prepared her response.

She felt the same way as the human princess did, at least when it came to what her feelings might be. Yet she wrote back that even if a man did deserve retribution in some form she could not be the one to take a life.

She could not use the knife, not even for love.

Quickly she passed the book back to the born-human princess, and they met the following morning. They exchanged a barely-perceptible nod between the pair of them and then Maia slipped her a short note.

 _Well, then, my princess, we shall run away where no one can find us. Is this acceptable?_ the note read.

And of course it was. Yet there was one blessing she felt perhaps she should still seek before embarking on a new quest.

She went to the railing of the closest balcony that night and let the waves hear her silence.

Her oldest sister rose from the waves shortly thereafter with open arms and a smile.

“If you have found your home, your heart-home, then you shall keep it, Adirana. I give you my blessing. The blessing of your family.”

And so it was done, and the mermaid ran through the castle toward her beloved on the feet she chose as her own, honoring the silence she had been given as well. For one first given the power of sirens, silence could be a gift, as her love knew well. She did not need to speak out loud where she was going.


End file.
